The Chance Encounter That Started Phoebe Cates And Kevin Kline
Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline first met in 1982-1983 while auditioning for the ensemble film The Big Chill, where they were both present at a group read-through or casting session in Los Angeles. Although Cates did not land the role she was up for, she and Kline crossed paths again two years later in New York City, and their brief early encounter eventually blossomed into a relationship that led to marriage in 1989.
When and how they first crossed paths
By the early 1980s, Phoebe Cates was a rising young actress and former fashion model, best known for her breakout role in the 1982 teen comedy Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Kevin Kline, eight years her senior, had already built a strong stage reputation in New York and had recently transitioned into film with a widely acclaimed co-starring role in 1982's Sophie's Choice. Their first interaction took place in 1982-1983 at an audition or read-through session for The Big Chill, Larry Kasdan's now-iconic ensemble drama about a group of college friends reunited for a funeral.
At that Big Chill casting event, Cates was in the room auditioning for a part that ultimately went to another actress, while Kline was being seriously considered for a major role in the ensemble. The setting-studio offices or a rented rehearsal space filled with multiple actors rotating through lines-meant they were not working on the same scene, but their paths still intersected in the shared hallway of the audition circuit. In interviews looking back, Kline has described an immediate impression that Cates radiated an unusual energy and openness, even though the two did not start dating at that point.
The gap between first meeting and dating
Despite this first Big Chill encounter, there is no evidence that a romantic relationship began in 1982-1983; instead, Hollywood reportage and biographical profiles consistently describe a two-year gap before they formally started seeing each other. By 1985, both actors were based in or frequently working out of New York City, where the theater-centric Public Theater scene became the next key intersection of their lives.
Multiple outlets recount that Cates and Kline reconnected again at the Public Theater in Manhattan, where they were involved in separate projects or social circles around off-Broadway and Shakespeare in the Park-style productions. At that next meeting, Kline allegedly hired Cates' former assistant and asked her to arrange a date with the actress, indicating that his interest had lingered since their Big Chill audition and then sharpened when they saw each other again in New York.
- First meeting: 1982-1983 at an audition or read-through for The Big Chill in Los Angeles.
- Professional context: Cates fresh off Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Kline riding the success of Sophie's Choice.
- Second meeting: 1985, in New York City, tied to the Public Theater ecosystem.
- Relationship start: Shortly after that 1985 New York reunion, Kline used a former assistant to secure a date with Cates.
- Marriage: March 5, 1989, in a private ceremony in New York City.
Timeline and key dates
- 1982: Phoebe Cates stars in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, which turns her into a recognizable teen film personality.
- 1982-1983: Audition and read-through sessions for The Big Chill bring Cates and Kline into the same casting room; Cates is not cast in the final film.
- 1985: The two re-encounter each other at or through the Public Theater in New York, where Kline initiates efforts to start dating Cates.
- 1989, March 5: Cates and Kline marry in a small, private New York City ceremony, marking the formal beginning of their long-term partnership.
- 1991-1994: They become parents to two children, Owen Joseph Kline (born 1991) and Greta Simone Kline (born 1994), further anchoring their family life in New York.
Geographic and professional context
Their story is unusual among Hollywood couples because it is anchored in New York theater and stage culture rather than in Los Angeles film industry nightlife. Kline, a Juilliard-trained stage actor, had spent years building a reputation in repertory and Shakespeare before his film breakthrough with Sophie's Choice, while Cates was still relatively new to acting and had begun in modeling.
By meeting first at a casting event for a major studio film and then reconnecting in the context of New York City's nonprofit theater infrastructure, the pair's early relationship unfolded between two distinct artistic worlds: the commercial, youth-driven movie industry and the more traditional, text-focused theater scene. This split geography also later helped them avoid the pressures of a "Hollywood marriage," since they chose to live primarily on the Upper East Side of Manhattan rather than in Los Angeles.
Marriage and longevity statistics
Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates have been married for over three and a half decades, with their union now spanning more than 35 years as of 2026. In an industry where the average celebrity marriage lasts roughly 2-3 years, their relationship sits in the top fraction of a percent for longevity, putting them in the same category as a handful of other long-term Hollywood couples.
Public profiles and interviews suggest that a key factor in their staying power is their deliberate choice not to live in Los Angeles, instead splitting work between New York and various film locations. This geographic distance from Hollywood culture has allowed them to raise their children in a relatively low-profile environment, shielding family life from the constant glare of studio publicity and tabloid scrutiny.
| Event | Year | Key Detail |
|---|---|---|
| First meeting | 1982-1983 | At an audition or read-through for The Big Chill in Los Angeles. |
| Re-connection | 1985 | At or through New York City's Public Theater. |
| Marriage | 1989 (March 5) | Private New York City ceremony. |
| Children | 1991, 1994 | Owen Joseph Kline (1991) and Greta Simone Kline (1994). |
| Marriage duration (2026) | ~37 years | Well above the average celebrity marriage lifespan. |
What are the most common questions about The Chance Encounter That Started Phoebe Cates And Kevin Kline?
Did Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline meet on a movie set?
They did not meet while filming the same project; instead, they first crossed paths at an audition or read-through for the film The Big Chill, which meant they were both present in the same casting environment but not yet working together on set. Cates ultimately did not appear in the finished film, so their initial encounter remained confined to the pre-production and casting phase rather than a shared on-camera experience.
Where did Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline live while building their relationship?
During the early stages of their relationship, both actors were strongly tied to New York City, where Kline was already embedded in the theater circuit and Cates had grown up and launched her modeling and acting careers. Over time, they settled into a long-term life on Manhattan's Upper East Side, choosing to keep their family home in New York even as Kline continued to work extensively in film and television elsewhere.
What role did The Big Chill play in their love story?
The Big Chill functions as the official origin point of their romance, even though they never co-starred in it, because the casting session or read-through is where they first saw each other professionally. The film's ensemble, ensemble-driven nature-multiple actors cycling through the same small downtown space-created the kind of serendipitous proximity that allowed personalities to notice one another off-camera, even when they weren't paired in the same scenes.
How old were Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline when they met?
When they met for the first time around 1982-1983, Phoebe Cates was about 19 years old, having been born in July 1963, while Kevin Kline was in his mid-30s. This roughly 16-year age difference remained a talking point in profiles over the years, yet the couple has consistently described their relationship as grounded in mutual respect and shared values rather than any power imbalance.
Why is their meeting often described as "not love at first sight"?
Commentary from both actors and biographical pieces indicates that their first meeting at the Big Chill audition was more of a passing, professional interaction than a dramatic, cinematic moment of instant attraction. Kline has recalled thinking that Cates seemed "too happy" or "too enthusiastic about life" to pair with him, reflecting cautious first impressions rather than immediate romance, which only developed after their second meeting in New York.
How did a former assistant help them get together?
After their paths crossed again at the Public Theater in 1985, Kevin Kline reportedly hired Phoebe Cates' former assistant and asked her to arrange a date with the actress, according to several long-form profiles of their relationship. This unusual approach-using a mutual professional contact as a kind of informal matchmaker-underscores that Kline had taken a specific interest in Cates and was willing to be somewhat strategic about creating an opportunity to spend time with her.
Do Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline still live together in New York?
Recent profiles and interviews as of 2024-2026 indicate that the couple continues to anchor their domestic life on Manhattan's Upper East Side, even though Kline frequently travels for film and television work. Their decision to remain in New York rather than relocate to Los Angeles has been framed as a deliberate strategy to protect the privacy and stability of their family life in the face of Hollywood's intense public scrutiny.
How many children do Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline have?
Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline have two children together: a son, Owen Joseph Kline, born in 1991, and a daughter, Greta Simone Kline, born in 1994. Both children grew up in New York City, with their parents maintaining a relatively low-profile parenting style that emphasized privacy and normalcy rather than celebrity exposure.
Are Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline still married today?
Yes, as of 2026, Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline remain married, having celebrated more than three and a half decades of partnership since their private New York City wedding in 1989. Their relationship is frequently cited as one of the most enduring marriages in contemporary Hollywood, especially given the challenges often associated with age gaps, different career trajectories, and the pressures of fame.